How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
