3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
