I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
