Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
