Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
