Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize