Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
