Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
