i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize