doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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