you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
