He kissed a someone with a penis
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
