The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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