capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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