Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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