I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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