ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Such a big mess for such a small penis
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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