bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
