i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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