Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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