There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize