Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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