She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So apparently I’m into choking now
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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