Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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