The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
