i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize