Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
