best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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