Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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