you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize