it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
