and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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