i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
