Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
