Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Randomize
