Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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