I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You made out with two different species that night
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize