Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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