Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
