when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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