How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
