We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
