you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize