Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize
