i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
