i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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