on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
