Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
