I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
