I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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