she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
