No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
