gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
