I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
