Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
bring money and cleavage
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
