it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
