Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize