they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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