i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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