it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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