I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
