I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize