you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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