yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
