I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
