man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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